Prelude Melodia Africana I by Ludovico Einaudi
Opening Words Draw Close by Ben Downing
Friends, draw close.
Listen together. Sing together. Pray together.
Share the mysteries which never die,
And the silences that never cease.
And as we share and celebrate and worship,
One in all, and all in each,
May we feel and know that we are being understood
Better than we know and understand ourselves.
May we give to the winds our fears,
May we give to the world our faith.
May we give to Life our thanks and our service,
For evermore.
Chalice Lighting (you may wish to light a candle in your own home at this point). Words by Cliff Reed
We kindle the light of our liberal faith: may it be
the light of knowledge to dispel ignorance,
the light of reason to dispel superstition,
the light of love to dispel bigotry and inhumanity,
no matter what their guise.
Opening Prayer
Spirit of Life and Love,
be with us as we gather for worship,
each in our own place.
Help us to feel a sense of community,
even though we are physically apart.
Help us to care for each other,
in this world in which Covid has not yet gone away,
and the clouds of war and climate change overshadow us.
May we keep in touch however we can,
and help each other, however we may.
May we be grateful for the freedoms we have
and respect the wishes of others.
May we hold in our hearts all those
who are grieving, lost, alone,
suffering in any way,
Amen
Reading from Tolerance, from Inner Beauty: A Book of Virtues by the Brahma Kumaris (adapted)
Tolerance is bouncing back even when you’re thrown against a very hard wall. A square can’t bounce because it’s made of straight lines, but a ball can, because it is round and usually light. Whatever its size, it will just bounce back. To work in straight lines means to miss the implications of things, to be narrow and dictated to by the present. This life is all there is and so you may as well aim for your goals directly, with no largeness or beauty. And the corners of the square, the sudden changes of direction, can hurt people. One doesn’t associate a ball with hurting, but with playing a game.
Tolerance comes from sensing that everything is a riddle and that all things work in cycles, that what is uncomfortable now will soon change. There is constant movement in tolerance, flexibility, because of being content with change. A square finds its position and that’s it. Someone who is tolerant can be put in the pocket of any situation, can introduce an element of fun and humour. …
One has to love people, not at all in a superficial way, but also as beings who have an intricate design of experiences inside, also as beings who have in their heart a unique talent which is most of the time concealed. When you start to look into people’s eyes and see their rarity, and you meet them with your rarity too, then tolerance becomes easy. It is an expression of your respect for quality, for keeping life outstanding. Where there is no tolerance, everything becomes ordinary, which is a shame. It’s like standing on the edge of things and scowling. Tolerance is saying yes to the game and enjoying it.
Alternative Lord’s Prayer
Spirit of Life and Love, here and everywhere,
May we be aware of your presence in our lives.
May our world be blessed.
May our daily needs be met,
And may our shortcomings be forgiven,
As we forgive those of others.
Give us the strength to resist wrong-doing,
The inspiration and guidance to do right,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
We are your hands in the world; help us to grow.
May we have compassion for all living beings,
And receive whatever life brings,
With courage and trust.
Amen
Reading The Stages of Tolerance – where do you stand? Part One by Roland Northover
This two part reading was written many years ago, so the language is not very inclusive. But I would urge you to put aside any small irritation that this may cause, and listen well – this is an extremely lucid exposition of the various stages of tolerance.
The word “tolerance” can cover such a wide range of human expression that it may, perhaps, be helpful to think of it as having certain states or stages.
Stage 1 the position where Intolerance reigns. This state covers human thinking and emotions from the level of active attempt to force another to one’s way of thinking by violence, as in the Inquisitions, to the more civilised position where the pressure exerted is more mental and emotional. It can also be the basic position of proselytisation, even when unrecognised by the proselytiser. Do we not always give ourselves credit for better motives than those we actually possess? Pride in our own beliefs is a subtle thing … it masquerades in myriad forms, strongly reinforced by our emotions.
Stage 2 At this stage, the position taken up by the “tolerator” can be described as “I have the Light of Truth, my dear fellow, you are also religious and therefore will eventually come round to my way of thinking.” This is the position of the pedestal “I’m up here, you may join me in due course.”
Stage 3 It is perhaps at this stage that the word “toleration” begins to display a little of its inner meaning. Understanding and vision begin to appear. The quality of the relationship is “I have my religion and you have yours … your religion is no good for me … but if it suits you, that’s alright with me.” There is in this way of thinking the embryonic acceptance of a common factor in all religions.
Prayer The Great Multitude by Francis Terry (adapted)
Spirit of Life and Love,
We close our eyes, and are in the midst of a multitude; all to whom our hearts can reach out, all into whose lives our imaginations can enter. We remember those near to us, whom we know best: and at the same time we acknowledge with awe how much there is in each of them which is beyond our understanding. We think of men, women and children throughout the earth, of whom we have no personal knowledge, but who are involved in eventS which we hear of in the news, and those everywhere who make up the ordinary daily flow of human experience. We are aware of them as a great mass of varied joys and sorrows, hopes and fears, of every sort of personal relationship, and our hearts begin to respond in sympathy – but how faintly compared with the depth and reality of each person involved.
We look back to the past, to our parents, to the people of their generation, and to the generations before them, from whom we have sprung, and who shaped the world which we inherit, with its advantages and problems. We acknowledge our debts, and the responsibility of our inheritance, and we can look back to them in memory and imagination: and yet how little that is compared with the detailed reality of what they did and endured.
We look forward to future generations; to those who will benefit by what we do well, and suffer what we do badly. We cannot see their faces, or imagine what sort of people they will be. Our hearts are too little for this great ocean of humanity which surrounds us. And yet we can feel our narrowness, and reach out beyond it.
And so we cry to you, the Universal Spirit, to whom all hearts are open. In you we live, and move, and have our being. Take us more fully into your Universal love and concern. Strengthen us, bring us to unity, and bring us together into larger life. Amen
Reading The Stages of Tolerance – where do you stand? Part Two by Roland Northover
Stage 4 Here the “tolerator” is beginning to recognise that a man’s formal beliefs are largely a matter of accident of birth and background. The attitude begins to be one of “As narrow as I like for me in my own belief, but as wide as the World in my acceptance of the rightness of other beliefs for those who embrace and follow them.” The thought “By their FRUITS shall ye know them” creeps in and factors of varying psychologies in men and races begin to be recognised. Whether appreciated or not, here there is recognition of the common factors in all religious approaches.
Stage 5 When a man reaches this stage, he no longer insists on the “other fellow” being “religious-minded” before freely accepting him as a companion and an equal along life’s spiritual way. The closed shop attitude has gone. No longer does the man say “I admit you to the society of ‘religious’ people even though I am a Quaker and you may be a Brahmin or a Methodist, but we can’t accept Jones who has no dogmatic beliefs.” His thinking has taken on a broader rhythm. He is beginning to think of the word SPIRITUAL as something much wider, more embracing and more potent and significant than the adjective “religious”.
Stage 6 Those who have reached this stage give to the word “SPIRITUAL” a very wide significance. They believe the word to mean an inclusive endeavour towards human betterment … uplift and understanding. They give to the word “tolerance” real religious inclusiveness, embracing every trend and department of human expression, endeavour and aspiration which concern the esoteric development of man. They recognise the externalisation in activity of the Essential Brotherhood of Man is but the expression of the ONE LIFE within or of THE ONE IN WHOM WE LIVE AND HAVE OUR BEING.
The impulse behind people who have reached this stage is simply the Love of God as it works out in love of one’s fellow men. They are the people who know the real meaning of the word “brotherhood”. Their lives are those of willing service rendered with complete selflessness.
Time of Stillness and Reflection Why We Are Here by Cliff Reed
We are not here to judge,
but to live as best we can,
in peace and harmony with
our neighbours, always aware
of our own shortcomings.
We are not here to condemn,
but to give such encouragement
and assistance as we can to those
we meet along the road.
We are not here to lecture others on goodness,
but to ask how well we match up
to the best that we know, the vision
in our souls, and then try harder.
We are not here to claim a place with the ‘elect’,
a place in heaven,
but to live on this earth with love in our hearts
and kindness in our deeds,
just like everyone else.
We are not here to speak for God,
but to heed the divine voice in ourselves
and to be the divine presence in this
glorious, complex and suffering world.
[silence]
We are here to love our neighbour
as we love ourselves; to be human
to the best of our ability.
May it be so, Amen
Musical Interlude: I Giorni by Ludovico Einaudi
Address Tolerance
Freedom, reason and tolerance are the traditional underlying values of Unitarianism. They are also three pillars of a good society. The news over the last few months has shown only too graphically how the lack of these values can lead to suppression, unreason and intolerance. In both politics and on the world stage, intolerance of the other has led to fiercely adversarial situations, violence and death.
The old Unitarian leaflet, A Faith Worth Thinking About, presented values which Unitarians share, including “mutual respect and goodwill in personal relations” and “constructive tolerance and openness towards the sincerely held beliefs of others.” And yet, when I carried out my survey of the beliefs of contemporary British Unitarians a few years ago, many people struggled with the concept of tolerance.
Tolerance, wrote one, is “much more difficult to put into practice than to state as a precept.” Other respondents developed this approach. One wrote, “Tolerance is a very half-hearted, grudging type of acceptance which still seems like a vote against. But I am reduced to tolerance sometimes, as better than nothing. Then there are situations where I’d be betraying myself and many others if I didn’t resist strongly, and make my views very clear and obvious.”
Some were more constructive about Unitarian tolerance. One wrote that it is about “knowing that we cannot change others, but acknowledging that others need their beliefs.” More positive interpretations included the following: “Engaging with ‘the other’ in a spirit of kindness”; and “Listening without thinking of arguing, leading to understanding of different subjects.” One respondent believed that it meant, “Accepting that others / ourselves are at different stages of spirituality.” Which is perhaps what Roland Northover was explaining, in our second and third readings.
However, some respondents perceived some tensions and challenges within the concept of tolerance. One wrote, “Wilbur refers to ‘generous tolerance’, tolerance which is not cheap and not easy, but which is costly and difficult.” Another commented, “I like the word religious ‘tolerance’ because of the implied tension and challenge in it: it is sometimes difficult to be tolerant, but it’s important.” But a third introduced a note of caution: “We should inform ourselves so that we can question, and if necessary, oppose, religious teachings or beliefs that cause harm to followers or others. People may be free to follow their beliefs, but do we have to let what is damaging pass unchallenged?”
And several participants took issue with the word ‘tolerance’ itself. More than one suggested that it implied “’putting up with’ rather than an active engagement with those who are different from us.” Some found the word “patronising” or “judgemental”, or “implying superiority”. All of which are explained by Northover’s different stages of tolerance. And a number of people pondered what a better word might be. ‘Acceptance’ and ‘respect’ were proposed as possible alternatives. One argument that we need to find an alternative was that, “the word tolerance… has no notion of understanding and allowing that no one faith has all the answers.” Another argued, “’Tolerance’ suggests that the thing you are tolerating is bad, wrong, or different; ‘welcoming’ seems more appropriate.”
So it is perhaps no wonder that outsiders may find it difficult to understand how the Unitarian movement holds together, placing, as it does, so much importance on the freedom of individual belief based on reason and conscience. Yet I still believe tolerance, this openness to new thoughts and ideas, and refusal to ‘other’ others, is a key concept in Unitarianism; indeed it is what has kept it green and growing down the centuries. Our movement has been underpinned by a process of continuous and continuing revelation. At different times and in different countries, different ideas have been considered to be most important. But tolerance also means a tigerish determination to fight for the right of others to enjoy the same freedom to worship in whatever way they choose, so long as it doesn’t harm anyone else. Our “fellowship in diversity” (happy phrase) aims to be tolerant towards others. As Joyce Grenfell beautifully puts it, we believe in “loving in spite of human imperfection.”
What holds us together is that we all have the same attitude to religion and spirituality. All of us believe profoundly in the necessity of personal freedom of religious belief – the freedom to grow, and to act in accordance with our beliefs, to work out our own answers. F. Forrest Church, late minister of All Souls Unitarian Church in New York City, summarises it very neatly in his book Born Again Unitarian Universalism: “We value one another’s thinking. We respect one another’s search. We honour it even when it differs from our own. We resist imposing our perception of truth upon one another. Embracing a kind of theological pluralism, we affirm the human importance of our joint quest for meaning in life without insisting upon the ultimacy of any single set of theological criteria … At our best, we move … to a fundamental trust in our own and one another’s inherent ability to make life meaningful.” We share a devotion to spiritual freedom, and find that the insights of others can enrich our own beliefs. What could be better?
Yet Unitarian tolerance is the value which people outside our movement perhaps find hardest to understand – is it just another way of saying “anything goes”? Well, no, it certainly is not. There was a fascinating article in the 15th November 2003 issue of The Inquirer, entitled “Tolerance: what’s your limit?” It covered both the spiritual and practical aspects of tolerance, a distinction which I think it is important to stress. On the spiritual side, for example, Sarah Tinker, lately minister at Kensington, wrote of attending a Build Your Own Theology course: “I learnt that Unitarians, by and large, are spiritual folk who can stand the terror of uncertainty – who can accept that, in matters religious, ‘We just don’t know for sure’. By sitting together in religious education groups Unitarians are doing far more than just ‘tolerating’ each other. By truly listening to one another – by creating spaces where we can share one another’s stories, hopes and fears – we affirm the right of individuals to express themselves fully and to be heard and accepted for who they are, unique human beings.”
David Arthur’s contribution was more pragmatic, and I would like to quote it to you in full, as for me it summarises what Unitarian tolerance is (and isn’t) about:
“We Unitarians reckon to be tolerant folk. ‘Freedom, reason and tolerance’, we proclaim from the rooftops. But what does it mean to be tolerant? Is there a line to be drawn, and if so, where do we, or should we, draw it?
Let me deal with a tolerance that isn’t. We all know Unitarians who say: ‘of course I’m tolerant of other religions; if they choose to believe all that nonsense, that’s OK by me!’ That is not tolerance; that is condescension. Tolerance of other religions means ‘I recognise that your belief is different. Mine works for me, but I accept that yours is valid for you. And if you get benefit and meaning from it, then good for you.’
Are there limits to tolerance? Oh yes. ‘All are welcome here’, says our hymn. Well, actually, no. I would not welcome those whose beliefs advocate paedophilia, female circumcision, slavery, stoning adulterers to death, or homophobia, etc. The Pagan motto of ‘do as you will, provided you do no harm’ is relevant here. So I draw a line. Let’s not kid ourselves that there are no limits to tolerance. Where do you draw your line?”
So tolerance is a complex concept for many of us to get our heads around. I’ll leave you with Andrew Hill’s wise words, from another old Unitarian leaflet, What Unitarians Mean By Tolerance, which sum up what I believe tolerance should be about:
“The final stage of religious toleration is achieved when members of a community, religious or otherwise, don’t just tolerate (which still has an element of judgement about it) but actually accept those who are different culturally, politically or religiously alongside them. …
The common factor is being human, and our comprehension of the larger view is humanly limited. ‘My view is incomplete, therefore my neighbour’s view is incomplete, but maybe together our views may be a little more complete than they are apart.’
That is why Unitarians have moved from seeking toleration for their own differences to seeking toleration for the differences of others; and why Unitarians have moved beyond generous and non-critical acceptance of the difference of others to critical and open sharing of their mutual differences.”
May we strive to make it so, Amen
Closing Words
Spirit of Life and Love,
Our time together is drawing to a close.
May we strive to listen to the hearts and minds
of others, not dismissing their opinions
when they differ from our own,
but trying to find our common humanity.
Yet at the same time, may we
always fight against intolerance,
wherever we find it.
May we share the love we feel,
may we look out for each other,
sharing our joys and our sorrows,
and may we keep up our hearts,
being grateful for the many blessings in our lives,
now and in the days to come, Amen
Postlude Melodia Africana I by Ludovico Einaudi